Jeff’s been telling me this for awhile, but it hasn’t hit me until just recently.
Due to the wonders of the internet and facebook (which is a grown up, much cooler bigger brother of myspace) I’ve come in contact again with some old high school friends. This caused me to virtually revisit my high school through their webpage as well as get in contact again with the director there (who was in charge of dorms when I was a student).
Suffice it to say, it has been 15 years since I graduated high school.
In 3 years, I will be double the age that I was when I graduated high school.
Jeff’s been saying for awhile that we’re not young anymore. It’s hard to break free from that mentality, because I’ve felt young for so long. At Vineyard Columbus, I always felt like the little kid — partly because there were few to no people in ministry younger than I was and partly because I was treated that way by an ever aging pastoral staff who refused to acknowledge that they themselves were growing older.
The director of my high school told me that his son just graduated this year. He was 3 when I graduated. Three is Kate’s age…which in the time it has taken she will be graduating as well.
Sigh.
There is a Bon Jovi song that I thought was cute, but now has taken on a new meaning where they repeat the line “I’m not old…just older.” Like my life that’s how I feel, and even with our generation very likely living 100+ years due to medical advancements (unless obesity or cancer do us in first), we haven’t even gotten close to the halfway point yet.
But we’re not young anymore either.
No, not ‘young’ but thank goodness for that! Prior to getting our pre-frontal cortexes all matured and stuff, life is just one intensity after another.
We may not be ‘young’ anymore but what does that even mean? I am still hoping to get caught up on my life and be at the point one assumes one will be at at a given age. We get to the age where we’re supposed to be ‘grown ups’ and relized, heh, our parents were probably faking that whole ‘grown up’ bit, too! I wonder if one ever really feels ‘grown up’?
Age is such a relative thing…what counts more is the quality of your maturation and decision-making processes, which is what takes the time. I know some people in their 60s who are as brainless as a 16 year old and I know some 16 year olds (ok, I know one) who are as mature as someone ten years older. It’s not years so much as experiences and how we respond to them that are the key, I think.
But what do I know? I’m still trying to get organized from 10 years ago!
“Suffice it to say, it has been 15 years since I graduated high school.
In 3 years, I will be double the age that I was when I graduated high school.”
What a cool math word problem. And I think I know the answer.
Aging is very weird. I’m sorry that you were treated like “the kid” at VCC, Michael. I’m sure that was disheartening and demoralizing. But I think part of the mentality there is that the older pastors truly didn’t perceive themselves as “old.” Nobody ever does, and that Bon Jovi lyric gets it right.
That mentality can be taken to ridiculous extremes of course — rock stars in their sixties (and no, I’m not thinking of you in particular, Mick Jagger) running around in Spandex, etc. But the flip side of that is that people don’t suddenly turn off their passions/interests when they reach a certain age, whether those passions are pastoring a church or listening to music or anything else. I sometimes get the “what’s an old fart like you doing in a young persons’ world like this?” question when I talk to musicians. My answer: “I keep waking up in the morning; the same as you.” Assuming I keep my eyesight, I can’t ever imagine a time when I wouldn’t have interest in reading. Why should music be any different?
Kate and I just watched Rachel graduate from high school. In a couple more months we will be “empty nesters.” Part of me wants to pump my fist like a rock star, and part of me wants to wander dazedly in shock and disbelief. How did this happen? You just keep waking up in the morning. But here’s the cool thing: I am still 21. And 30. And 40. And 50. I carry around all of that with me. And it’s a lot less burdensome than it used to be. I’m not going to act like I’m 21 (I hope), but I am who I am because I went through those experiences thirty+ years ago. So I probably understand to some extent “people who refuse to acknowledge that they themselves are growing older.” And believe me, you will be the same way, and that will be a sign that you’re still alive and still involved.
Not that that lessens the slights you might have experienced, and I’m not trying to downplay those things. But people who are old are ready to die. I’m not there yet, and you have, I hope and pray, many, many decades to go.
I’d like to repy to this post but I can’t find my glasses … oh, wait, I’m wearing them!
who was that r& b artist (aliyah? another youngin) who said “age ain’t nothing but a number”.
that sums it up i think.
good points all. its just weird to think that i am definitely not the ‘kid’ any longer, because i think i was (or at least felt that way) for most of my life…
also, good point about music andy. most people stop buying new music or new bands once they get out of high school. i hope to never be one of those people and to always be trying to find something new, something fresh, something exciting (as well as the ‘new’ releases from my old favorites)
HM. I have been thinking about this too- will i always feel young? i’m a bit in denial myself.
At 22, I wondered when I would feel comfortable saying, “I am a man,” and not just, “…a young man.” Now at 34, I think I’m almost there.
I think the transition to feeling like a true adult has a lot to do with moving from having lots of needs (to know, to do, to prove, to love and be loved, etc.) to having those needs significantly fulfilled and finding oneself in the position of having lots to give to others, who have needs. So marriage and kids surely is a big part of that transition for many. For me, four years of seminary shaping and forming, with ordinations approaching, does it instead.
Soon I too will say: “I can’t, people are depending on me to…” The telltale answer of the grown-up, eh?
eh. speak for yourself, you old codger.
Whippersnappers!